i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Two words: blizzard sex
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
