Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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