we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
