he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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