At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
