just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
