Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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