: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
