I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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