What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
