she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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