and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
