Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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