And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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