So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
