I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i want to swaddle you in tequila
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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