I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
PANTIES FOUND
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