Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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