the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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