Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
