I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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