Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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