My brain says no but my pants say off.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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