i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
