You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
