you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
