I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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