Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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