If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
