I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
