my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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