and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
