I hate your face
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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