i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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