i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
