I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
