and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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