it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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