All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
