Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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