And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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