i was rollin on her like bob the builder
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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