ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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