I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
