Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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