Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
