Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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