I met the friendliest cop last night
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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