I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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