I accidentally burped into my bong.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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