let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
